no holds barred.

i wish i could say i have been busy doing things of the fall fabulous variety, but alas, i've been soaking up the sun in a decidedly un-seasonal trip to florida with the boyfriend. old friends, old family, and of course, disney world. but i'm back now, ready to disappear again into the woods with my beautiful friends for our theater company retreat!

welcome to florida.

the stuff of dreams.

sampling grand marinier slushies at the epcot food & wine fest.
(aka drunk at noon and faking french)

amazing parade at animal kingdom.

halloween cupcakes with my favorite cousin.

i hate vacations. there's nothing to do. –david mamet

current obsessions.

fall television.

i don't know what i did all summer without my regular shows. i never do. by the time late-semptember rolls around and the dvr list starts to fill up, my excitement re-kindles itself and i remember just how much i love having a regular tv schedule. i haven't really signed onto any new ones yet - though i've been watching "new girl" on-demand (still not totally sold) - but my old standbys are back. guilty pleasures and water-cooler conversation starters alike. the one new/old show i'm not into is "parks and recreation." last weekend, bored and alone and tired of real housewives, i fired up the netflix and watched the pilot. then another episode. then another. and i didn't stop for 5 days. i'm not fully caught up, in love with adam scott, and psyched to add another show to the list.

super-awesome iPhone apps.

after my blackberry decided to take its own life a few short weeks ago, i dove head-first into the magical world of iPhone ownership. not only is everything a million times easier to see and do, and i can watch netflix instant IN MY HAND, but i am now the proud owner of some amazing apps that let me do amazing things. here are some of my favorites: scoutmob, nymag's vulture clickables, allrecipe's dinner spinner. check them out and recommend more! i'm always looking for new ways to enhance my mobile lifestyle.

this song.

 

if it hadn't been for love by the steeldrivers
covered here by my favorite and yours.

culinary curiosities.

so after my octobergasm yesterday morning, i resolved to make good on my falltime devotion by spending the afternoon baking a delicious autumnal treat: pumpkin whoopie pies.

this summer, my best friend and i made a carrot cake version of this fabulous treat of old, and they came out so delicious and wonderful. i attempted a similar feat using this recipe for the cookies themselves and this one for the cream cheese frosting filling. as i was baking for the cast & crew of my show, i followed a recipe for three-dozen, which ended up yielding about 50. they were a smashing success (read: only 4 remain in my refrigerator), and i am so proud of myself for expanding my baking repertoire beyond nestle tollhouse cookies.

october road.

october is my absolute favorite month. it is the most beautiful, festive, aromatic, exciting time of the year (december comes a VERY CLOSE second). but you cannot beat sweaters and scarves, pumpkin spice everything, baking, foliage, and all the fabulous activities that mean fall has arrived in the northeast. for more examples, this posting by "the frenemy" should outline all of the other positives about this, my favorite season.

i also have such intense, visceral memories tied to this time of year. there's something about the smells and the colors that transport me back to my childhood and beyond; halloween costumes always ruined by a mandatory jacket, everyone lighting fires in their fireplaces, apple crisp ice cream on a cone i made myself, leaf fights, hiking trips, and the closeness to home that i felt and still feel each time the fall rolls in. autumn belongs to new england.

and so, just as i did with summertime, i will make a list of goals/to-dos that will fill my october:

1. baking - including, but not limited to: apple spice bread, pumkin bread pudding, at least one apple pie, pumpkin whoopie pies. new recipies and old.
2. apple picking upstate with the boyfriend, as has become our autumnal tradition.
3. finding/making a wonderful halloween costume (usually last-minute)
4. movie nights - including, but not limited to: hocus pocus, it's the great pumpkin, charlie brown, and anything/everything on the on-demand seasonal listing.
5. carve a pumpkin. probably more than one.

the list is short, but that's only because this month is going to be crammed with all sorts of happenings to off-set the frivolity. the last week of felix & the diligence, a vacation to DISNEY WORLD (what?) with the boyfriend, the pipeline theatre company annual retreat at a beautiful sprawling farmhouse in connecticut, a wedding, and job-hunting/hopping in the meantime.

i have been younger in october than in all the months of spring.
 –w.s. merwin

day of the show.

as for me,
i am tormented with an everlasting itch for things remote.
i love to sail forbidden seas, and land on barbarous coasts.

–herman melville

felix & the diligence opens TONIGHT.

come see us.

we're still fishin.

i have been mia and i apologize. where have i been? oh i've been off on a fishing boat. rehearsing and working hard on this wonderful adventure tale.  felix & the diligence (or a play about fishermen in the 1940's) is being produced by my theater company and we're all toiling away trying to make it a reality. we open NEXT WEEK. cantwaitcantwait.

basketcase.

tonight i had the privilege of seeing sara bareilles live in central park.
i just want to sing and listen to her music and let break my heart over and over again.

lockdown.

 

the best thing one can do when it is raining is to let it rain.
–henry wadsworth longfellow

shelter from the storm.

so the world's ending or whatever, but i'm shacking up in my cozy apartment with the boyfriend, the dvr, a kitchen full of foodstuffs, and two delightful cats. they're not mine, these creatures. they belong to a friend for whom i was cat-sitting in tribeca this week. she's stranded in new england, so seth and i staged "the great cat-rescue of 2011" last night. one in a carrier, one on a leash (?!) and the two of us bumbling through an interborough cab ride, laughing at what a bizarre adventure this weather is turning into. over the last 12 hours, i've turned into a crazy cat lady, having full-on conversations with my new friends.

but we're here now. we're making a feast for dinner, inviting a few friends over, and turning this into a board-games-and-wine kind of evening. so bring on the wind and the rain. i've got food, dranks, and a lantern. i'm sure we'll be fine.

and because we've been cooped up inside all day, here are some

current obsessions (the cabin fever edition):

- this video. ok go and THE MUPPETS? two objects of my affection beautifully entwined.

- the trailer for the rum diary is out!

i read this book when i was in london a few years ago, and i loved it. i'm a huge thompson fan, and no one will be able to do this sexy, crazy, disjointed story justice like johnny depp. it looks fantastic.

down to the beach(to play one day)

martha's vineyard was indescribable.

 

five days of delicious meals, beaches, bridge-jumps, sunsets, shot-roulette, riding in the trunk, johnnys all around, dirty bananas, the crows nest, living in a mansion full of crazy-weird art, bestfriends, and obama ruining our plans. the weather was beautiful, the beaches were unreal, and the company was, of course, so so excellent. it was truly a magical island weekend.

for whatever we lose (like a you or a me), it's always ourselves we find in the sea. –e.e. cummings

anticipation.

a long week of babysitting is slowly drawing to a close. just one more trip up and down the hudson and i will be ON VACATION. i am living my dream you guys. five, blissful days on martha's vineyard. i cannot tell you how excited i am.

i'm going to go start packing RIGHT NOW.

bookends.

last week, i had a free day. so i hopped the hampton jitney to the beach, to crash my mom's ladies week with her two best friends from childhood. each summer, they spend a week together on some fabulous, fun vacation, and for the past few summers they've been staying at a cottage  on the beach of the north shore of long island. this summer marks their 50th anniversary of being bffs. fifty years. they make me so happy, the three of them, telling their insane stories, reminiscing and reveling in their shared history. they are a testament the power of friendship and ladylove that can exist in this world. my only hope is that one day, my friends and i can be like them; talking non-stop for a whole week, forgetting even to go to dinner because we're so busy being together. yes. i think i'd like that very much.

friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art; it has no survival value. rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - c.s. lewis

current obsessions.

 

one day.

for some reason this summer, i've found myself falling into reading selections from the "chick-lit with an upcoming movie adaptation"category. first was the help, now onto one day, the romance that will star jim sturgess and anne hathaway as two star-crossed british lovers-with-a-question-mark. the story visits each character on the same day each year for twenty years, and chronicles how their relationship changes and evolves over time. i'm digging the book so far–nearly finished now–as a breezy summer read that doesn't bend my brain too much and is full of love and witty repartee. i haven't fully jumped aboard the "anne hathaway as a believable brit" train, but i'm all about jim sturgess. so we'll see how it goes.

the muppets.

i know this may seem like a no-brainer, but my appreciation and obsession with these creatures now extends beyond re-runs of the muppet show or sesame street. recently, my friends and i checked out the jim henson exhibit at the museum of the moving image here in astoria. it was amazing - a trip through the mind and manner of a certifiable genius who started out as a boy who just wanted to work in television. armed with a puppet made out of his mom's old coat and a couple of halved ping-pong balls, jim henson created a world, and a philosophy of education, that has spanned generations and defined comedy for many children. to test my theory that the muppets will never NOT be funny, i added ALL of their movies to my netfix queue (except a muppet christmas carol because i obviously own it). last week, i made blueberry lemonades and watched the muppet movie. still brilliant after all these years. "the rainbow connection?" forget it.

happy birthday.

it is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. –ralph waldo emerson

staycation log: days 4 and 5

this week has been an adventure. i'm very proud of myself that i was able to pack so much into a few short days. so here's where we stand:

friday my friend ari, a fearless wanderer like myself, journeyed with me to the top of new york city as we know it to a tiny little place called city island. time out new york called it "a sleepy seaside destination," which is actually kind of true. here's what we found out: city island is essentially a small town accessible by the MTA (it's technically part of the bronx). there are shops, an elementary school, many a nautical-themed business, and tons of seafood restaurants. you can walk the length of it in under an hour if you don't have some asshole with a camera taking pictures of quaint things (read: me). fun fact: the house used in the royal tenenbaums is there somewhere. we didn't find it.

after trekking home, tired and sun-kissed from my day by the sea, i headed out once again to see my new favorite dance company, pilobolus, starring my close friend shawn. they are the shadow people from the oscars a few years back. anyway, it was amazing, as usual (i've now seen them three times). check them out if you've never heard of them. what they can do with their bodies will blow your mind.

today, my parents rolled into town so i spent the morning cleaning my apartment (after yoga at the gym - my new obsession). got delicious paninis at il bambino, this tiny little cafe here in astoria, and headed out to citifield to watch the amazin' mets take on the atlanta braves. my grandfather, who is 96 years young, has been a mets fan since their inception (his previous loves, the dodgers and the giants deserted him and left him heartbroken. the mets have since done a marginally okay job in making up for it.) but tonight, rain and all, we took in an excellent game that was a triumph for the home team. plus, there's a shake shack at the park, so that didn't hurt.

my dad & grandpa getting back to their roots.

this week has been wonderful. tons of free time, tons of flexibility, with just the right amount of activities, fun, and leisure time to spend with the people i love the most. it has been a very lovely staycation. now back to work.

a life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things. there will be sleeping enough in the grave. –ben franklin

staycation log: days 2 and 3

okay i'll be real. i didn't go anywhere or do anything too exciting these past two days. lametown, i know. but hear me out: instead, i did a lot of productive things that made me feel better about myself as a woman and a human.

i returned books to the library and took out a new one, i went to yoga AND kickboxing at the gym, i made homemade balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing, which i put on a homemade caprese salad that i paired with homemade baked chicken, pasta and homemade tomato sauce (read: i cooked and now i'm so proud i could die), i brewed some cocktails for my lady-friends, i had a meeting for my theater company, and i killed it at an audition. so i've been busy.

tomorrow, however, i'm going on an adventure. and adventure to a remote part of new york city that no one has ever even heard of. so much to come. get ready.


sidenote: i watched chocolat last night. i pretty much aspire to be juliette binoche in every way. and johnny depp has never been sexier. i will fully stand by that statement.

as for me, i know nothing else but miracles,
whether i walk the streets of manhattan,
or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,
or wade with naked feet along the beach
just in the edge of the water,
or stand under the trees in the woods,
or talk by day with any one i love,
or sleep in bed at night with any one i love,
or watch honey bees busy around the hive of a summer forenoon...
or the wonderfulness of the sundown,
or of stars shining so quiet and bright,
or the exquisite delicate thin curve of the new moon in spring...
what stranger miracles are there?
–walt whitman

staycation log: day one

spent the afternoon tanning myself in astoria park, followed by a quick dip in the pool. had lunch, did a crossword puzzle and read in the sun. it was lovely and not crowded at all. had happy hour sangria and a delicious dinner in the east village with some of my lady friends. then a quick trip out to brooklyn for the tenth anniversary celebration of wet hot american summer, one of my all-time favorite movies.

we had no idea what to expect. a screening, perhaps? interviews? what we got was the following: a gratis arts and crafts table where i made a sick macrame bracelet, cameos by stars big and small, live music performances of songs from the soundtrack, a sweater-fondling contest, judah friedlander almost tripping over my feet, and so so much more. it was hilarious, and exactly the kind of disorganized, improvised, celebration this cult classic deserved.

our hosts, the boys of stella

all is not lost.

i am obsessed with ok go videos.

i am obsessed with pilobolus.

i am obsessed with this message of hope.

rabbit rabbit.

it's AUGUST.

i have this week off work. 

what to do with this free time?

here's what i don't want to do: everything i've done today (read: watch VH1, catch up on emails, pay bills, eat an amy's spinach & feta wrap for lunch) because i have become the mayor of boringtown, usa and the summer is drawing to a close.

SO i am going to take myself on a staycation.

beginning tomorrow, i vow to do something cool and cheap every day this week.

now, let's see where the sunny, summer days take me..

deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. –sam keen

you're invited.

i realize that i spend much of this blog writing about things that are decidedly childish, but i have fully accepted my status as a "tweeny-something" (as defined by this essay). so whatever.

now i will talk about my love of theme parties.

when i was younger, i used to covet the issues of "girls life" or "american girl magazine" that outlined how to throw the perfect themed sleepover. it usually involved some hideously complicated cake recipe, impossible-to-duplicate invitations, and games that never sounded fun to 12 year olds. so i went for many years never having a strong theme at my birthday parties. but i always dreamed.

then in college we threw our friend a surprise "disney princes bat mitzfah" in honor of her 20th birthday. we dressed up, ordered inflatable guitars and microphones, decorated our apartment and got a belle sheet cake. we danced to the chicken dance, the electric slide, cotton eyed joe and the macarena. we even had a non-religious candle-lighting ceremony where we all talked about why we loved the birthday girl. it was a successful night founded on a very VERY successful theme.

recently a few of my friends have thrown these themed birthday parties themselves and i must say, "1920s murder mystery" will always sound more fun than plain old cocktails. costumes, props and and a thematically-appropriate spread of food and drinks? where do i sign up? plus, as our twenties roar on and our age milestones become less relevant, it's helpful to have a clever way to celebrate. 23 is fine. 23 with DINOSAURS in AWESOME.

so rage on, party-animals, and rediscover why "princess spa makeover" is/was/will always be superior to "let's drink red wine and eat chips and salsa at my apartment in calm celebration of me turning another non-descript age."

me & the dinobirthday girl!

youth is a wonderful thing. what a crime to waste it on children. –george bernard shaw

it's useful being top banana in the shock department.

i'll never get used to anything. anybody that does, they might as well be dead.
–holly golightly

breakfast at tiffany's is one of my all-time favorite movies. i know that's cliché and so blair-waldorf of me, but there's just something about it. audrey hepburn is brilliant and beautiful, mickey rooney is the most offensive, and it includes some of the sweetest scenes that i just adore.

to compliment this love of mine, i just finished reading fifth avenue, 5A.M. an account of the making of the film, and its subsequent effect on women in cinema. it was fascinating. though our new-millennium sensibilities are so immune to it, the fact that holly is a high-class call girl didn't sit right with most people in the early 60's. marilyn monroe even turned down the part based on it's questionable morality. but really, holly is a carrie bradshaw prototype who directly profits from her sexual exploits and glamorous lifestyle instead of just writing about them. even better, she's the prototype for most 21st-century single gals in new york; lots of boyfriends who keep breaking her heart, no real furniture to speak of, a best guy friend with his own sexual and relationship baggage, bad at cooking, never been to the library, i could go on and on. it seems to me, that what stuck out in the 60s as a morally skewed woman is now a pretty accurate portrait of today's everygirl.

so thanks, holly (and audrey, of course) for making it okay for us ladies to have wild parties in our own messy apartments, cats with no names, and of course, $50 for the powder room.

you could always tell what kind of a person a man thinks you are by the earrings he gives you. i must say, the mind reels.

outro.

beautiful. genius.

thanks for getting me through most of 2007, girl.

melting.

this, one of my all-time favorite sesame street songs, is my one and only comment on the state of new york at the moment.

jambo!

mean girls in the white house

someone's a genius.

current obsessions.

chipwiches
this bastard brother of the ice cream sandwich has always been my aboslute favorite. i dare you to find an ice cream truck treat more satisfying. recently, i discovered coolhaus, a home-made chipwich truck that rolls around the city, serving homemade cookies and fantastic ice cream flavors to chipwich enthusiasts like me. i plan on stalking them as soon as i can peel myself off the couch.

it is also because of said discovery, that my best friend cathleen, a culinary genius, decided to make home-made chipwiches this past week. the result is pictured. TELL ME you're not jealous. i dare you.

winnie the pooh

what am i? five years old? whatever. it's not like i'm getting tigger tattoed on my lower back or anything. i just saw the movie yesterday with the little girls i babysit and absolutely fell in love again. it was so simple, so sweet, so clever, and it didn't smack of franchise like so many re-makes and sequels do these days. i also found this book at the used bookstore while i was home in new hampshire. only $5 for a copy from 1954. too good. i plan on saving it for my children one day.

the samuel french off-off broadway short play festival

my theatre company produced a play in this years fest called bubble & squeak, written by evan twohy. out of 1100 submissions, 40 plays were chosen for one-night-only performances this week. about 15 or so are then moved onto the finals and around 6 of those get published by samuel french. our show premiered last night and was selected by the judges to move on to the FINALS on sunday! we're all incredibly excited. and the show, in case you're wondering, was absolutely brilliant. i'll be real you guys: nothing is better than the sight of your best friend with cabbages in her pants.

there and back again.

it's been awhile. my most profound apologies.

but i've been busy. busy in the sunshine and the nottoohot heat. busy with barbeques and lakes and trees. busy with my best friends in the world and my beautiful family. i've been home.

i'm obsessed with where i come from. it's this combination of nostalgia, safety, fresh air, and the overwhelming feeling that i have nothing to do and everything to look forward to. that is new hampshire to me.

and so i spent the last week indulging myself; swimming in the lake, picking blueberries, grilling burgers, staying up sosolate, internet-stalking people from high school, laughing too hard, eating too much, scouring the little stores downtown for fun things to bring home (case and point: a copy of the jungle book from 1915), visiting all my favorite places, slapping away mosquitoes and moths by the truckload, seeing plays, and relishing in the fresh, clean summertime that new england is so good at.

but i'm back now, and ready to get on with my life here in new york. except it's entirely too hot to do anything real so i'm sitting in the air conditioning writing this blog and wishing i had a lake to jump into.

we don't enjoy giving directions in new hampshire - we tend to think that if you don't know where you're going, you don't belong where you are. –john irving, "a prayer for owen meany"

my life.

manhattan.

chapter one. he was as tough and romantic as the city he loved. behind his black-rimmed glasses was the coiled sexual power of a jungle cat. oh, i love this. new york was his town, and it always would be.

boom. there's gonna be fireworks.

here's the thing about july fourth.

independence day is one of those non-familial holidays where everyone's goal is to party in the best way possible and maximize the shit out of the celebration. now don't get me wrong, i love a party as much as the next lady, but there is something very stressful about this mentality. halloween and new years are the largest, scariest examples of this (as one of my favorite authors, sloane crosley discusses here) but the summer holidays–memorial, labor & independence day–have their own, faux-laid back version. as a child i could settle for town fireworks and a hot dog, but as a sortof adult, i feel a certain obligation to make a big deal out of things like this. people are skipping off to the beach, to the lake, hosting elaborate bbqs with backyard firework displays. i am happy for these people. i envy them their relaxation, their sunshine, their fresh air. however, try as i might, i never feel like i can live up to them or their travel plans.

but this year, in the stuffy, toohot city, i managed to find my own, improvised holiday cheer; patriotic brunch, the astoria pool, an enviable dinner menu, rooftop fireworks, homemade cocktails and the greatest of companions made my jealousies melt away. it was fun, festive, inexpensive, and we didn't even need a jitney to get there.

so here's what i have learned: no holiday will ever be a disappointment if you spend it with drunk fools who know how to bring their potluck A-game.

my god!  how little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy!  –thomas jefferson

what's the matter? haven't you ever seen a great man before?

happy 4th everyone!

currently, i am upset about the following: that i am not at a beach, and that i don't own a barbecue. hopefully, the astoria pool and the boyfriend's famous burgers on our brand new ikea grill pan will remedy these unfortunates, but for now, i can take solace in this, the single greatest musical movie ever made, 1776.

first produced on broadway in 1969, 1776 tells the oft-spoke of tale of the signing of the declaration of independence, in colonial philadelphia. it stars a beautiful, fiery william daniels (mr. feeney of boy meets world fame), a young blythe danner, and john cullum. it is packed full of whigs, candlelight, quill pens, cane fights, horseback riding and glorious song & dance numbers. I LOVE THIS MOVIE. it is the weirdest, greatest addition to the american musical theater. at one point, nearly 45 minutes go by without anyone singing, the longest song break in any musical ever. the best part is? i own it.

i cannot wait to celebrate the birth of our nation tonight, post-fireworks & feasting, of course.

revolutions come into this world like bastard children - half improvised and half compromised. – ben franklin

current obsessions.

• the help by kathryn sockett
  i just finished the book last night (at 3am, because i couldn't put it down) and now i'm soso excited for the movie later this summer. i'm not sold on emma stone, but viola davis? forever and always. if you're looking for a healthy serving of socially-conscious, dramatic chick-lit, please read this. it's fascinating, and so well done.
  
  
  
• guilty pleasure tv
  (read: the bachelorette, the real housewives of nj/ny/oc/atl/etc.)
  the above are best viewed with a weekly collection of girls (and boys) crowded in someone's living room, stocked with wine, candy and ice cream. judgments abound, alliances are formed, and can we all just agree that jp is the best and ashley needs to get over herself? thanks. one of the best ways to make me feel like i'm not alone in my ironic (but slightly non) adoration of the aforementioned blights on american pop culture, is to read the hilarious, pointed, and scathing recaps of these episodes on different sites. here are some of the best regarding this week's episode of RHONJ.
  vulture
  gawker
  hellogiggles
  
  
  
• quirky, compilation websites
  the burning house
  photographs & lists of contributor's most-prized possessions (read: what they would save from a burning house)
  dear photograph
  a mix of the past & present, people hold up old photos in the same location in which they were taken and comment about how times have changed. some are funny, some are adorable, and some delve into that post-secret kind of nostalgic despair that makes me uncomfortable

whirlwind.

i know i said i was "a little bored" with my summer thusfar, but i seemed to have proved myself wrong tenfold this weekend. upstate, downtown, brooklyn, fifth avenue and everything in between, here is a portrait of my crazytown last few days:

friday was babysitting. brunch, hair-braiding, a tour of cold spring, family dysfunction, bridesmaids, arts & crafts, alice in wonderland, playing fetch with zoe, and hanging out with three of the sweetest little ladies all the way from canada.

saturday was a trip back in time. ferryboats, flappers, picnic in the grass, sangria toasts, the charleston, tommy-guns, big bands, floppy hats, old-timey everything, and many blanket discussions about women and history.

sunday was PRIDE. floats and flags, balloons and bears, dancing and drag queens, friendship and acceptance, future is bright and it gets better, stickers and swag, glitter and gays for miles and miles. followed by shakespeare in a park, n'awlins in the 1940's, fernando's falsetto, frozen mojitos (my new heaven), gossip & girl talk, empanadas and a long, drunkish subway ride home.

sometimes i forget i live in the greatest city in the world. it all disappears in the mess of commutes and meetings and work and rent-paying. it becomes normal, workaday. but then i have weekends like this, when everything is happening and i am all over the place celebrating whatever needs to be celebrated, and in these moments i am reminded that i do, in fact, live in the center of it all.


the true new yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding. –john updike

it's getting better.

never been so happy to be a new yorker.

tomorrow i go celebrate in the middle of it all.

HAPPY PRIDE!

who would give a law to lovers?  love is unto itself a higher law.
–"the consolation of philosophy" (524 AD)

a way back to then.

i am the nostalgia queen. anyone will tell you that. i have this elephantine memory that remembers the most absurd details, the ins and outs of everything that has gone on in my life. and i love re-visiting it, in the form of old blog posts, diaries, pictures, etc. this is not to say that my life is/was particularly extraordinary or exciting. i just enjoy looking back, reflecting, and connecting the dots to figure out how i am who i am.

my time with the children i babysit leads me down this path often, as i find myself waxing poetic about my polly pocket collection, watching disney movies, or scoping out headbands at claire's.

cunningham.
(c. 1998)

today seemed to be a normal, dismal, summer day with nothing to do and nothing to play. but for some reason i had all of these moments that transported me back to the summers of my youth. and i'm not talking high school parties in the woods and kissing boys in lakehouses. i'm talking afternoons at the pool, licking a melting chipwich off my fingers while i kept an eagle eye out for the popular boys from my grade. i'm talking reading one YA novel after the other in an attempt to win the coveted library contest. i'm talking summer camp with everything smelling just a little bit damp and a little bit like bug spray. i'm talking sleepovers with girls' life and ym magazines open, reading about someone else's humiliating story for a change and making checklists of what to do to maximize our free time.

and so on this day, at age 23, i did the following: shopped at justice (née limited too) for brightly colored statement tees, skimmed at least half a dozen "teen-at-the-beach" romance novels in the barnes & noble young adult section, decorated t-shirts with puff paint, and watched aquamarine, the tween-flick about two misfits (played by emma roberts and jojo...yeah okay) whose bff-ship is put to the test when they discover a mermaid in the pool one morning. it's all about being 12 and awkward and having crushes on boys who are older and hotter than you could ever hope to be...and marine life.

on the way out to go hunt for our evening arts & crafts project at michael's, we ran into margaret's friend in the elevator. she was on her way to get a mani/pedi, her mom told us, before heading to camp tomorrow. i suddenly found myself feeling so deeply jealous of this little girl, all bright-eyed and un-tanned, ready for her summer of non-stop adventure and insanity. i started talking with margaret about my summer camp experiences. about hating morning swim lessons with every fiber of my being. about piercing lexie's nose in the bathroom after dark. about bug bites and bonfires and trips to the movies. "yeah," margaret said, knocking me down off my nostalgia trip to the farm, "i probably wouldn't like sleepaway camp."

i know i shouldn't make such a big deal about the summer coming. i'm a college graduate - this time is no more special than the rest of the year. it's hotter, and the electric bills are higher, and i get to swim sometimes. but something about spending your time around kids, and your schedule changing when their's does, you feel the summer again, you feel the anticipation, the boredom, the everything that makes summer a special time when you're in those inbetween years.

and truth be told, this summer i am a little bored, i'm a little inactive, not working on any shows or big projects at the moment. so despite living in the most exciting city in the world, i'm feeling that little bit of tweenage restlessness. but today i realized that there is a way to capitalize on that, that summer can still be about taking books out of the library and eating ice cream and planning for the future. and this blog is, in a way, my own kind of arts & crafts project.

i was never that talented with popsicle sticks anyway.

did i mention it was horseback riding camp? yeah no it was.
(c. 2001)

our whole life is but a greater and longer childhood. – ben franklin

je t'aime.

 

solstice.

tomorrow is the first day of summer. and i can't wait. it's interesting, there was a time in my life when summer was it. it meant freedom, warmth, special parties, afternoons at the pool, and a brief, finite reprise from the monotony of the school year. nowadays, summer just flows in and out like any other season, any other time. however, due to the fact that i don't have a quoteunquote REAL JOB, i still allow summer to mean special things to me.


trying new things. this is produce market down the street from my apartment. it's 24-hours (okay) and the prices are phenomenal. i've been looking forward to really making use of it, and this summer i vow to do so. i no longer have the luxury of my mom's garden, or her daily trips to the farmer's market, so it's up to me to stock myself up on peaches, plums & strawberries. also, i want to get into smoothies. there's no jamba juice in astoria and i have this blender so i figure i should get on it.

 rediscovering my childhood. babysitting has been my primary source of employment in this world for the last two years, and each summer i get the ultra-perk of traveling up to my family's summer house in rhinebeck, ny to play in the country twice a week. the commute is nothing compared to what i get: trips to the library, afternoons in the pool, paint-your-own-pottery, ice cream stands, baking in the palatial kitchen and, as illustrated here, toys & games like PLAY-DOH. it's practically perfect in every way.

exploring my home. every year i make a new set of to-dos in this big ol' city i call mine. i pride myself on the completion of these activities, and the expansion of my knowledge, geographically and creatively. so this past weekend, with my friend trina in town, we headed to brooklyn (my new pseudo-home) and wandered around in park slope for the afternoon. after thrift shopping, we headed to four and twenty blackbirds, this award-winning, super-hip pie shop to check out some of their specialties. we split two massive slices, rhubarb crumble and salted caramel apple. both were amazing, and we left stuffed, sleepy and oh so satisfied. i'm already making plans for next weekends exploratory escapades. and so it begins.

i wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always june. - l.m. montgomery

the leader of the band.

happy father's day to
the pancake-fipper
the fly-ball tosser
the puzzle-master
the bad-joke teller
the lover and supporter
and the greatest man i know.

and nothing quite so least as truth
–i say though hate were why men breathe–
because my Father lived his soul 
love is the whole and more than all
- e.e. cummings  

current obsessions.

• other blogs
  cupcakes and cashmere
  hellogiggles
  new dress a day
  fuck! i'm in my twenties
  etc.
  
  
• fancy nyc burger joints
  i find myself craving burgers constantly these days. i guess it's the warm weather. and probably the milkshakes. here are some of my favorites:
  
  
  shake shack (obviously)
  bareburger (finally tried it!)
  just burgers (new spot amazing spot in astoria - and they deliver!)

•  park slope
  i know this has been one of the nyc neighborhoods that everyone's obsessed with, but i've never spent much time there. i started nannying for my cousins and their adorable new baby this week, so i've been taking afternoon walks with little chelsea and floyd, the cockapoo. so into it now. prospect park, fifth avenue...can't wait to spend the summer exploring!

having fun isn't hard when you've got a library card.

one of my best friends asked me yesterday for some book recommendations and it got me thinking about some of what i've read over the last year. reading for pleasure is a past-time i hadn't been able to indulge in since middle school really, so when i graduated college last year, it took me a little while to jump back on the train.

"summer reading" used to mean going to the library every other day, entering contests to win bookstore gift certificates by reading more pages than all the other sixth graders in town. then it meant enforced literary exploration - thick novels piled on my desk until sometime in mid-august when i thought i should probably get going because i had essays to write. nowadays, it means comfort on my commute and less boring train rides to and from upstate.

in celebration of that, here are some of the best books i've read for pleasure post-graduation.

•  i was told there'd be cake and how did you get this number (sloane crosley)
• look at the birdie and while mortals sleep (kurt vonnegut)
• the amazing adventures of kavalier & clay (michael chabon)
• bossypants (tina fey)
• the girl with the dragon tattoo, et al. (stieg larsson)
• water for elephants (sara gruen)
• an object of beauty (steve martin)
• the brief, wonderous life of oscar wao (junot diaz)
• extremely loud and incredibly close (johnathan safran foer)

it is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it. - oscar wilde

happy opening.

sesame street is hipper than all of us.

creativity.

i'm not afraid of anything.

how i always imagined it would be.

we'll take a glass together.

the tony awards happened last night and i was fully in my element. a living room full of my favorite people, with a menu of delicious salad, homemade mac & cheese, and three different desserts? heaven.

and though the awards were exciting, and the performances were, for the most part, top notch (memphis again? really you guys?), the highlight of the evening has to be the in-house cocktail, my new summer favorite: blueberry lemonade.

to make this fabulous (and so so feminine) libation, you need the following:

- one lemon (sliced into thin wedges)
- a package of blueberries
- blueberry vodka (smirnoff is the cheapest, but stoli is smoother)
- lemonade (concentrated or not, we used both types)
- ice
- a muddler
- a martini shaker

1.  drop a few blueberries and one lemon wedge into the shaker and muddle together until both are sufficiently mashed
2. add ice about halfway
3. pour in chilled vodka
4. add lemonade to the top of the ice
5. cover and shake it up!
6. strain into a fun glass, add a lemon wedge as garnish and toss some whole blueberries into the drink. andd you're ready to get drunk without even realizing it!
   
   

   

   houseguests modeling the finished product

   
   
   

   it happens every time. they all become blueberries. - willy wonka

it's curtain time and away we go.

so today is one of my favorite days of the year you guys.

in addition to christmas, oscar night and my birthday, TONY SUNDAY is an annual high-point. i have been watching the tony awards since i was just a little girl; meticulously planning out my acceptance speech (obviously), swooning over bernadette, patti and the like, wishing i was andrea or sutton or all those bitches in spring awakening.

time out new york's theater blog, upstaged (for which i am a sometimes contributer thankyouverymuch) has already done an incredible job of highlighting the best of the performances. and come tomorrow night my living room will be filled with the usual revelry and shouting at the television.

but i would like to take this time to make my own list of the best shows this season (everything i saw from last summer to right now). with the help of my trusty shoebox that sits in my nightstand collecting programs and ticket stubs, we shall take a look back at my favorites in every category and house-size. see if you agree!

bloody bloody andrew jackson (the public theater): i believe it was on tony sunday last year that i saw this phenomenal musical at the public. the house was half-full, and the intimacy made the irony all the more exciting. i was devastated it didn't get a longer broadway run, but so so glad i got to see it in its original incarnation. benjamin walker's tight jeans looked so much better close up.

the divine sister (soho playhouse): after doing psycho beach party with pipeline last year, i have a deep love and affection for charles busch's insanity. this was nothing short of absolutely brilliant, despite the fact that we were seated on really hideous wooden pews. in my personal opinion, the more catholic jokes coupled with deliciously skewed sound of music references (read: "what is it you cunt-face?") is a recipe for genius.

war horse (lincoln center): this play is feeling the tony love this year, so i won't try and pretend like i'm alone in my opinions, but i do consider myself a bit of an OG when it comes to the current trend of "liking war horse." having seen this last year in london, and weeping openly through the ending, i'm thrilled that new york has embraced this show. and is it wrong that i think just a little bit less of people who totally hate on it? didn't think so.

black watch (st ann's warehouse): i had literally no idea what to expect when my friend asked me to rush this with her. it was sunday morning, it was warm, and there was a bagel place on the way so i was down. for my measly $20, i got to see the following: an excellent history of a fascinating branch of the scottish royal army, some of the most intense acting and choreography i've seen in awhile, the word "cunt" used more times than i could possibly count, and the chance to stare at 12 dishy scottish boys for two hours. a sunday well spent? i'd say so.

school for lies (classic stage company): david ives is a linguistic and literary genius. mamie gummer is beautiful. upholstered sets intrigue me. moliere always ties things up so nicely. there was nothing i didn't enjoy about this hilarious, sosmart production.

now. here. this. (vineyard theatre): here are things i love in this world: feelings, creation, people being able to accurately sing and speak about how i feel when i do things, references to peterborough, adolescence, and everything that had to do with [title of show]. so i'm pretty fortunate that this show included ALL OF THOSE THINGS (yes, even a reference to peterborough, nh). i laughed, a cried (a lot), and i felt so connected to the people onstage. people i love and admire for being real humans when they perform; looking, sounding, dressing like real people, and showing that they are fallible in a really cool way. i can't wait to see what happens with this.

honorable mentions:

• everything by pipeline theatre company (because i'm the marketing director so.. mentioning us is kind of my job)
• my big gay italian wedding (the worst show, but 4/5 of the real housewives of nj were there. and we got to go to the after-party soo..)
• the 2010 nyfringe festival (where i sat through SIX solo shows and one of the worst musicals i've ever seen)

so there we have it, folks. the 2010-2011 theater season is drawing to a close. this summer will be filled with understudy sub-ins, times square tourist overload, and the promise of an exciting new fall line-up. can't wait!


the theater is so endlessly fascinating because it's so accidental. it's so much like life. - arthur miller